Chapter 1: Who am I
This is the part where I m suppose to talk about my childhood but I have no memory of mine. The first memory I have is waking up on the cold ground on highway 168. Glass was shattered everywhere, a car was flipped over to my left, and two strangers lay on the ground beside me. I was twelve or so the doctor told me. I had no memory of my parents or any relatives and my parents didn t leave a will. I was a young girl with no money, no place to stay, and no memory. I didn t even know what my name was or what my reflection looked like. I picked up a heavy metal mirror with leaves engraved onto it that was sitting on a wooden tray to the right of my bed. I stared into the hazel eyes of a stranger. She was small with a gauze over her head and a few blonde strands of hair dangling from it. Her mouth was slightly open and her nose had a slight hump on it. This girl was me.
Chapter 2: Little Hands Orphanage
The doctor made some calls and a plump, stumpy lady with her silver hair in a bun and a shawl covering the first half of her tattered old red and gold flower pattern dress entered my room. ” What s your name, Deary” she replied as she stumbled her way over to my bedside. I felt my face shift to a confusing glance. ” My name….. My name” that s when I decided to call myself Libby. “My name is Libby.” She introduced herself as Mrs. Bruckheimer. She took me to Little Hands Orphanage where I stayed for the first six years of my life. It was a run down old church building with boarded up windows, tattered brown shaggy carpet, creaky floors, and a hole where the pew use to be, making it very cold during a winter s night. There were several kids. All of them were covered in dirt from head to toe. Their clothes were so worn down that some of them had holes the size of my fist made out into a patch pattern. I shook and quivered as I walked over to were some of the older kids were playing with some wooden toys. I bent down to grab one when a red head kid with freckles and the ugliest
smirk that I have ever seen on a face, pushed me down. “Back off blonde. Those are mine. Everything here is mine.” She said mostly through her nose but moved her mouth as she spoke. I slid across the floor and sat in a corner. I rested my head on a hard cushion that I grabbed from one of the benches close to the wall. Dust flew up all over my face but it didn t matter. I was too tired to care. I spent most of my life, soon after hiding in corners until the 9th grade.
Chapter 3: Friends Forever
I sat in my desk at Greenwald High School, where I had been enrolled in by Mrs. Bruckheimer, counting my breathes so I wouldn t distract anyone with any noise I could make. I had already counted to 138 when a dorky girl with glasses, poofy hair, freckles, small enough to fit in toddlers clothes, wearing her dad s t-shirt, a huge pair of jeans held up by a belt, and some worn out shoes, walked into the room searching for a desk. I stared at her unconsciously wondering what she was thinking of. When I came to, I motioned her over to the orange lonesome desk beside me. She strutted, her shoes squeaking every step of the way, to where I was. Her hair flew behind her and her big clothes swooshed as she walked. ” I m Ginger. I m new here. I just came from LA” she held out her boney, sweaty hand for me to shake. “Libby but you can call me Libs.” We have been inseparable since.
Chapter 4: Heaven and Hell
“Oh. Look at him, Ging. He s so beautiful.” I said with a look of awe on my face. My eyes were focused on Lucas, the blonde hair, blue eyes the color of the deepest sea, stumpy, chunky guy. He was my heaven and my hell at the same time because I knew he would never go for a girl like me. I know he has seen me in the hall a couple of times with my head down, too shy to even budge. It was at that moment that I felt the worst. He was everything that I was not. He was rich, popular, and cool and I was just the girl next door. I ve tried to speak to him a couple of times but I just end up looking him in the eyes and stumbling a measly “Hi” out of my mouth. Oh, what I would do to be with him.
Chapter 5: Queen Quad
It was a Monday morning at Greenwald High and Ging and I were walking down the hall when we past Victoria , the brown hair, skinny blue eyed, babe of the school. ” Libby” she said like a cloud on her tongue ” I ve been meaning to talk to you. You know, I heard that you have your own place now on Green Acres. That s cool. Why don t you walk with me.” I was in complete shock . Victoria actually spoke to me, full sentences, and she wanted me to walk with her. Ging had a slight smirk on her face with her arms folded. I mouthed a simple “sorry” in her direction. “I ve been thinking. Since Dallas left and all, if you would be interested in filling her spot.” Oh my goodness! Was this really happening to me? She wanted me to fill Dallas spot in the Queen Quads. “Me?” I said, my face in a screwed up position. “But Dallas was so much prettier than me.” “Oh Honey.” she said, “That can be fixed. Meet me at Blue Mill Mall tonight with your best clothes on, casual of course, and your hair and make-up done. Let s see what you ve got.” My face turned red. Make-up? How was I suppose to
know how to do that? I ve never had a mom, that I know of. Victoria walked away before I could say another word.
Chapter 6: Face Fit for a Ball
I drove my old 72, army green Chevy Station Wagon home. My house was baby blue with white shutters and a wooden door painted white. It was empty except for Tuttles, my Persian, white cat. I ve lived alone for almost three months now but there are still boxes in the corner of my living room. My house was built in 1939. it has two bedrooms, one bathroom, and a small half kitchen half dinning room. I pulled clothes out of the boxes stacked to the left alone the yellow wall of my room. None of my clothes seemed good enough. They were all too worn out or too low class to wear. I chose my best black blazer with burgundy flowers on the pocket with my burgundy string top and my rugged old blue jeans that I bought at Wet Seal three years ago. I grabbed my black slacks and ran out the door to my car. My heart beat sped up as I drove towards the mall. Would she like it? I stopped in the Blue Mill Mall Parking Lot and applied a thin line of eyeliner, a hint of green eye shadow, a little bit of shiny clear gloss, and put on my sparkly silver dangly earrings. Victoria waited for me at the entrance. “Well, I guess
The outfit is ok but not good enough. The flowers on the blazer are juvenile. The shoes are a big no no and green eye shadow? No No No! This is why I brought you here.” Victoria s expression was serious as she said it. Her eyebrows were pushed up and her forehead scrunched together making small folds in her head. “My daddy gave me his Master Visa today, so, my treat! First, we ll do your clothes, then nails and make-up, and finally that rat nest, you call hair.” She grabbed my hand and pulled me into Dolce and Gabbana . I grabbed a pair of Kate jeans. They cost $349. “Cute,” she said, “Did you see the price?” I said. “Yea, great price huh? They went on sale from $695 last week.” She wasn t joking. I stood there with my mouth gaped open. We left the store with $4000 of clothes consisting of a halter top, a pink blazer, a pink plaid skirt with a sash belt, a pair of flip-flop heels, a baby fit tee, a pair of Kate jeans, and a pair of black eelskin fur tall buckle boots. “Now for nails and make-up.” she said. I felt naked in the skirt with my bare boney legs showing half way up my thighs. I wobbled in my heels as I followed her to Jennie s Nails and Face. A small foreign looking
woman stood behind the counter. “She needs a file, a shape, a buff, a French manicure, and, for God s sake, give her a decent top coat!”, Victoria shouted to her. “And fast.” The lady ran down to a tall man with a dark complexion, slanted almond brown eyes, and dark brown hair. She spoke to him in a language I could not understand and pulled me towards him. I sat in the white cushion chair. The guy went to work on my fragile, chipped, unfit nails. He didn t speak a word as he worked. It took 30 minutes. As I looked down at my nails, they began to glisten in the yellow tented light. They were beautiful. “Great now. Make her face fit for a ball.” she told the lady, “Light on the eye shadow, dark on the liner, and no dark glosses please.” I came over to her station and sat in a hard brown chair. She began to work right away. I could feel her smearing cold powders and liquids all around my face. I felt like a clown dressing for the rodeo but she handed me a mirror and how wrong was I. I actually looked normal. “Oh goodness,” she said “You look great. Now, your hair is my job.” She permed, scrunched, and clipped my hair at the top.
Chapter 7: Important Invitation
The newt morning I dressed in my skirt, halter top, and blazer with my heels. I washed, scrunched, and flipped my long blonde curls until they looked perfect. I even had my make-up to perfection. I strolled into school. Everyone s eyes were focused on me. I could hear small whispers. I walked to my locker and began to collect my books until I saw him, Lucas. He was coming down the hall towards me. I wanted to hide but my knees locked and my feet planted. He leaned against my locker. “There s a party at Fred Junior s house. Be my date and don t be late.” Was he serious? My first date was going to be with the most popular guy in school. I was actually going to ride in his 2008 Dodge Viper.
Chapter 8: Stood up
I arrived at a little past 8pm. The party was wild. People were dancing as a small guy sang “Walk This Way” into the karaoke mic.
Lucas was standing at the bar with a thin perky girl, whispering something into her ear. She giggled and pulled his hand towards the long staircase. “Lucas! Where are you going? Lucas?” I had been stood up. I stood in a corner and put my hands over my face trying not to cry. “Are you ok? I saw what happened. He s a jerk” a tall, hefty guy with blonde hair, brown eyes, and a slight smile said with a grin. “I m Fred. This is my party.” He offered me a hand. “Lib…Libby” I said “nice to meet you.” “Come on” he said “I ll get you a soda or something.” I followed him into the white tiled kitchen filled with beer. He handed me a grape soda. I stared at it for a moment until he spoke up. “I didn t put anything in it. I promise,” his smile was worth a million dollars “I m not that kind of guy.” I smiled back at him. I was feeling much better despite the fact that Lucas was doing something unbelievable just above us. I took Fred s hand. “Dance with me?” “Sure.” His tan glowed beneath the
bright flashing lights. We danced for a while and I listened to him talk about his future plans. “I ve noticed you. You know? Since like 9th grade. I always tried to talk to you but I knew I had a one in a million chance. To me you have always been the prettiest girl in school.” His eyes dropped to his feet and I knew, at that very moment, just how he felt. I brought my hand up and pushed his face up by his chin. “Keep your head up. I never got to say no.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and laid my head on his shoulder, as “I wanna be with you” by Jessica Simpson started to play. He placed his hands on the small of my back and there we were…just us in the middle of the crowd.
Chapter 9: A mark for a mark
It was time to say goodnight and I held Fred tight as everybody left. Lucas passed by me and grabbed my hand. “Time to go. Did you have a good time?” I jerked my hand free. “Don t you mean, Did you and that girl have a good time?” His hand came forward stinging my face. I held my face. Fred the spoke up, “You just messed up, buddy,” and nailed Lucas in the face. He backed away as Lucas s unconscious drunken body lay on the ground, his nose bleeding. “A mark for a mark,” he said taking my hand, ” I ll walk you home.” I looked back in disbelief. The shy guy in the corner had just hit the most popular jock at school, for me. We held hands most of the way home and talked about old memories until we reached my door. I unlocked the door and turned to face Fred. “Goodnight” I said and began to go inside when he grabbed my hand. ” I hope I didn t scare you when I said I ve been watching you. I just meant that ever since 9th grade, I ve liked you a lot. I know I m just the guy three blocks down but……..” His voice trailed off as his lips met mine. It was a soft, passionate moment and
One of the best things that has ever happened to me. I let loose and walked inside. I looked out my window and saw Fred hold his lips and smile.
Chapter 10: Ginger s Letter
Victoria was back to ignoring me on Monday morning because I was, now, dating Fred, aka the guy who nailed Lucas. I walked down the crowded hallway with my blue jeans, Dolce and Gabbana tank, and my rugged tennis shoes on, and for the fist time, I was comfortable with myself. I unlocked my locker and reached in for a book but grabbed a note instead. It was from Ging. It read:
Dear Libby,
This is your journey to find yourself and I don t want to be a part of it anymore. It seems like you don t need me. Don t try to call me or find me because I wont be there.
Ginger
I wondered down the hall trying to figure out exactly what it meant when I passed Lucas. His eye was black and swollen shut and he hid his face as he tried to avoid me. I snickered and hurried to my class. As I arrived, tardy as usual, I noticed Ging s desk was empty. I know I ve avoided her a couple of times but she wasn t that mad at me was she?
“Hey, Lib, I heard someone in Ginger s family committed suicide last night. How s she doing?” My head dropped. Poor Ging. I was a really bad friend. I should have called. She told me her mom was depressed but I didn t know it was that bad. “I don t know. I haven t seen her,” I said to the brown haired beauty to the left of me. I looked back at Fred and smiled. He smiled back. I walked down the isle to him. “Hey,” I said. “Hey,” he spoke in a soft like whisper. There was the same feeling I had the last time I saw him, returning to the pit of my stomach, electric shock and awe. He wrapped his long strong arms around me. “Will you drive me to Ging s house, Fred? I have a bad feeling about her.” My face was red and it felt like my heart was in my throat. “Is everything ok?” he said “I ll drive you.” I jumped into his white chipped 91 Thunderbird and I rested my head on the window as he drove. There were ambulances at Ging s house, crowding the drive-way. I jumped out before the car was at a complete stop and ran towards the small brick home. “Ging,” I yelled as loud as I could. I was about to enter the house when a tall, buff policeman threw me over his shoulder. “No, let
me go, let me go.” I beat my fist on the cop s back. “That s my best friend, please.” I found Ging s mom passed out in her dad s arms. He looked at me with a blotchy red face and tears in his eyes. ” I……..I m so sorry, Libs. Ging wont be coming around anymore. She s gone. She s really gone.” My knees buckled and I fell backwards toward the ground when Fred caught me. I felt the river flowing from my eyes but nothing seemed real.
Chapter 11: Speaking Out
“They say that bad luck finds you anywhere but I think the truth is we cause it everywhere we go. I lost a friend and no one can understand that feeling. You wake up with it and you go to sleep with it. It never leaves you. The worst thing is knowing that person will never be able to have the life we are living today. So for Ginger s sake and mine, please help a friend who needs you.” It s been 20 years since my 9th grade year but my image of Ginger never changed. Neither did my love for Fred. Today, I spoke for them and hopefully it went through to all of the 9th graders in that dull auditorium at Greenwald High, especially my daughter, Ginger. Fred and I married my 12th grade year and I moved on with my life. The day Ginger killed herself, changed my life forever and I know that she will forever be with me
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